Scraping the sci-fi barrel.
The lowest of the low.
This site has featured many movies of a 'cult' nature. Mainstream films by name studios, that missed the mark and struggled to find their market...or low budget B-movies with no pretensions to art, that have delivered their discerning audience what they crave...papier-mache mutants, day-glo disintegrator rays, gratuitous nubile nookie...
Frowned on by the mainstream, ridiculed by the non-believer, such films as Starcrash, Galaxy of Terror and, yes, even The Humanoid have been damned by reviewers as being poor, unwatchable, shoddy efforts unworthy of video-tape space.
Clearly , these people have never seen THESE... the lowest of the low. Chronic crimes against cinematic celluloid.
Ladies and Gentleman,
Golob gives you the Terrors from Turkey, as
The Ottoman Empire Strikes Back with Turkish Star Wars, and Badi - The Turkish E.T. Delightful !!!
|Dunyayi Kurtaran Adam , aka The Man Who Saved The World, aka The Turkish Star Wars, aka aarrrrrgggghhhhhhhh !! is possibly the worst film ever made, and CERTAINLY the most cultish. Its not just inspired by Star Wars..it doesn't just rip Star Wars off...at least half of it's footage is directly STOLEN from Star Wars, which is interspersed with scenes of Turk-Han and Turk-Luke practising space karate to the strains of the Indiana Jones and Flash Gordon theme music. How the producers escaped copyright infringement lawsuits is unknown...the fact they escaped phaser-pistol whippings from the incredulous cinema-loving public at large is unbelievable. This movie remains THE must-see cult gem of all time, pirate dvd versions go for small fortunes on the black market, and bootleg copies frequently turn up on Ebay. It's just a travesty that Kenner never had the foresight to market an action figure line, Turkish Star Wars soap, and Dunyayi Kurtaran Adam lampshades....|
|To sample some of the delights of Turkish Star Wars' INSANE dialogue, click HERE|
|Worse , though, is still to come. * shudder *.
"OUCH, ELLIOT, OUUUUCH..."
Badi , aka The Turkish E.T. , where Spielberg's beloved emotional masterwork is re-shot, scene by scene, on handicam, by a kindergarten school videoclass during their lunch hour. This movie is VERY Badi indeed, and yet strangely compelling viewing. I don't think I blinked once throughout, senses bludgeoned into a disbelieving catatonic state of incredulity.
"How COULD they do it ?!?! "
It's THAT good ! :D
Again, copies of this holy-grail of cosmic crap float around on the internet. Catch em if you can...the movie is Gold-dust
What one can do bad, another can do worse. Not to be out-done by that Turkish Tripe, a French-Spanish partnership gave birth to Los Nuevos Extraterrestres, aka Pod People (! ) aka The Return of Et aka *yawwns* Extra-Terrestrial Visitors aka The Tales of Trumpy !!
Originally conceived as an Alien Terror-style shockfest, the film-makers were inspired by the $$$$ success of E.T. and did a dramatic u-turn on the production, making their xtro-ish alien loveable and cuddley and called, um, Trumpy. Presumably, Trumpy did NOT have acid for blood. The anteater-inspired E.T more resembled a Tellytubbie than a facehugger, though it was still far more likeable (and human) than the schmaltzy puke-inducing Elliott derivative it befriends.
"Trumpy, you can do magic things !" , the kid sqwawks at one point.
What, push the VCR 'off' button ??
The tagline on the poster read "Men were not ready to meet these..."
Amen to that.
Watch these movies, and THEN try tellin me that Laserblast is a bad film...
|Not to be outdone in the Stoopid Star Wars stakes, Brazil gave us Os Trapalhões na Guerra Dos Planetas, aka The Tramps in the Planet War, aka Brazilian Star Wars, aka Holy Crap Burn My Eyes Out With A LIghtsabre... My Uncle Gretchen and Aunt Montgomery's wedding video is less embarassing.. come to think of it, Aunty M looks more like Chewbacca , too....|